You’re fired.
What happens if you don’t do your job properly? You get fired. What factors might be a fireable offense?
- falling asleep on the job
- failing to do tasks correctly
- always causing problems that make life difficult for anyone working with you
The list could go on forever. i’ve fired a few people in my time when i was a manager but this is the hardest firing i’ve had to do as i’ve been in defence of my colleague for over 5 years now when everyone was telling me they were shit. I’ve given countlessly many opportunities to improve after completely disastrous situations caused by them, but there comes a point when you have to draw the line.
Blackberry; you’re fucking fired. I’m done. No more pages that won’t load, random exceptions, freezes/crashes for no reason, re-charging the battery multiple times a day or SOS signals in downtown cities. I’ve had a new phone for free every 6 months for over half a decade, not for the upgrades but out of necessity due to the poor workmanship. Yet again my trackpad is broken and I can get a free phone again right now from one of your staff but I don’t want it. I’d rather pay money out of my own pocket for something that will not make me want to throw it against a wall. I don’t need the stress or the headache; you’ve had too many chances and blown them all.
I wish you all the best in your future endeavours but we can no longer work together and this is my final decision. It didn’t come easily, i’ve given it a lot of thought but I have an ongoing relationship with your competitor for my computer and have been consistently satisfied with their work. I will be tendering a job offer to the new prospective client shortly today, I did not want it to come to this but you have left me no other discourse.
Sincerely, a dissatisfied RIM customer
A man sat in an office in Toronto and started to play a track on youtube; it was a mild Friday afternoon in March, which is irrelevant since this takes place indoors. He played one track by Kid 606 for about 4 minutes. During that time, since the office had 5 other people present, it was calculated that millions of people passed by the desk, all of them at work because it was a workplace on a workday.
Thirty seconds went by and a young man sitting at the desk in front noticed that the beats were pretty disruptive to his phone conversation. He cocked his head and glared for a few seconds and then returned to his conversation.
Moments later, the guy playing the track was asked to turn it down a bit over Skype IM from his colleague: the man added a smiley face and seemed appeased when it was turned down a notch.
A few seconds later, one of the other co-workers showed vague interest in the music and listened to it, but then he realized he had forgotten something he had meant to do and went and did it. Clearly he was absent minded.
The one who paid the most attention was the office’s dog. His owner then put some food in the dog bowl, but the dog did a double take because the guy playing the music was also eating a sandwich that smelled pretty interesting.
Finally the owner called him over and the dog scampered over to his food bowl. This action was repeated by hundreds of other dogs in a matter of seconds that appeared from nowhere. All the dog owners, without exception, insisted that the sandwich was human food and that their food was in the bowl.
In the 4 minutes the track played for, only 3 people stopped and stayed for a while. One of them asked what the track was but the guy’s mouth was full so they asked him to send the link in an email and returned to their desk. He finished his sandwich. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one acknowledged it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition because it wasn’t a concert performance in a live venue setting.
No one knew this but the guy playing the track on youtube was Rob’s Daily Quips, one of the most bitter sarcastic people in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a computer worth $1199 plus taxes at the Apple Store.
Two hours before his playing that track in the office, Rob’s Daily Quips played some other shit using iTunes that he had downloaded for free.
This is a real story. Rob’s Daily Quips playing a track on youtube in the office was organized by himself as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Is something that is technically intricate automatically beautiful to people who don’t listen to that kind of music? Do we stop to appreciate it when we’re extremely busy with other stuff that’s more important? Do we recognize the talent when we clearly should be doing something else?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we put together a series of arguments founded without logic and combined with specious reasoning, can we come to a seemingly profound conclusion that will cause the article to go viral and sell the dying art of print media?
RDQ’s 2011 in Music.
FAVOURITE ALBUMS OF 2011
I’m not going to rank these releases and i’ve intentionally excluded artists i work with but some notable contributions to my music collection this year are as follows:
Chase & Status – No More Idols
Drum & Bass artists aren’t doing it for me as they once were, but this album was a blinder and it was nice to see the guys finally take a break from producing for popstars and release a long overdue new album.
Nero – Welcome Reality
Probably my favourite EDM album of 2011, this just blew all the competition away for production level and monstrous anthems. This is a must-have for me and still makes regular rotation on my iPod. Another really cohesive and proper ‘album’.
B.o.B. - B.o.B. presents: The Adventures of Bobby Ray
Heard a lot about this guy leading up to my first listen, sure it’s on the poppier side but as an MC he’s talented as fuck and it’s refreshing to hear someone who has something a little more verbose to say. He kind of filled the void that Lupe Fiasco’s ego dropped out of - my past predictions on that one went nowhere.
Theophilius London – Timez Are Weird These Days
I don’t remember how or where i heard about this kid, I have no idea if he’s even well-known yet but this album really impressed me with both lyricism and production. I hope he does well, a real diamond in the rough.
Amon Tobin – ISAM
There are a few artists i’ll give serious listening til the end of their careers, Lamb’s new album was just ‘ok’ so i didn’t add it to this list, but this was really good. It’s not his best work but there’s nothing he’s ever made even when he was Cujo that i didn’t think was great music at the very least and virtuosic genius at the most.
The Vaccines - What Did You Expect From The Vaccines?
I normally hate indie stuff, but my best friend’s fiance is mates with one of the guys so i took the recommendation from the person who introduced me to some of the most seminal music in my collection. I really love this album, it’s probably my favourite single release of 2011.
The Weeknd - House Of Balloons / Thursday / Echoes Of Silence
Now well on the radar of pretty much everyone this has to be the most significant new artist of the year. Three phenominal EPs in one year blending pretty much every kind of music i enjoy put the competition to shame. Superstar status beckons.
ROTTEN TOMATO OF 2011
Justice - Audio Video Disco
Jesus Christ did they shit the bed on this one. I deleted it after two listenings because there was absolutely nothing in it worth listening to again. If they come back from this it would be great, but it’ll be tough.
REDISCOVERY OF 2011
Glassjaw - Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Silence
I’m pretty sure I didn’t listen to it in 10 years then one day i was listening to a Head Automatica track and wondered why the fuck not. Something about Daryl Palumbo’s vocal range (not octaves but styles) and the transitions between them in a single song is hypnotic. Also the bonus track is gorgeous.
I’m excited for 2012. I feel like it’s an amazing time for music, 2011 was a great year for the electronic music industry but i have even higher hopes for what we’ll be hearing next year and at the end of it all and that’s the most important thing for me.
Link reblogged from Slashleen with 85 notes
Slashleen: Inspiration →
It’s nearly fucking impossible to come by sometimes. I feel truly inspired maybe once a year, if I’m lucky. It’s a feeling of overwhelming urgency to change a current situation by a completely original solution that you alone were struck with. It comes from the most unpredictable places at the…
Source: slashleen
An open letter to Americans drinking or serving an Irish Car Bomb
Do you understand why this may be offensive to some people? Do you care? If you answered ‘no’ to either of these questions let me learn you something.
There was a time when a group called the IRA were around, sort of like a drunk leprechaun Al-Quaeda that speak in a similar sounding language. They committed terrorist acts over a prolonged period of time - decades, not just a one-off. Many lives were lost in the thousands and millions more affected. For example, we didn’t have bins (or ‘trash cans’ as you call them) in London for fear of bombs being hidden in them and we would carry our litter through the streets til arriving at the next destination. The terrorists also had a penchant for tail-pipe and car bombs and with the ingredients of the drink being Irish this is presumably how the Norwich Connecticut bar came up with the premise.
Knowing this I introduce to you a new cocktail called the Twin Towers Slammer.
1. Make two Manhattans in high ball glasses with several cherries around the rim.
2. Drink one Manhattan.
3. Wait 30 minutes and drink the other.
4. Flick the cherries off the rim one by one like little skydivers.
5. Smash the first glass on the floor.
6. Wait a moment for everyone in the bar to look surprised and smash the second glass on the floor.
Sobering thought right (pun intended)?
I mean if you’re cool with drinking an Irish Car Bomb knowing what I think about it I should be cool to drink a Twin Towers Slammer - fair trade of alcohol consumption for the sacrifice of other people’s feelings which is pretty much what my quips are 90% of the time so I’m hardly about to change the precedent. I may be offensive but there are certain things I don’t take lightly and this one I’ve discussed repeatedly at bars and may have even commented about in passing on twitter but thought maybe it’d be easier to lay it out in black and white.
Furthermore and perhaps even more offensive is the composition of the drink. Baileys in Guinness curdles and as for the flavour, I’d rather toss a diarrhetic skunk’s asshole. No wonder these silly bartenders took on such a poor taste name and childish mixing method as their drink lacks any substance whatsoever. Manhattans are a far superior drink and I can happily enjoy one without being a fraternity dude wincing like the new kid in the showers on the first day of prison.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no resentment towards the Irish as my last 3 employers and many good friends I have are Irish, and to me the incidents were not even significantly affecting. This isn’t about America either as I love you yankee doodles too, but I just can’t tolerate ignorance, stupidity and double standards. “But Rob, half your twitter comments are ignorant and/or stupid! THAT’S a double standard”. Yes, but there’s irony and satire involved, or at least I’m self-aware, so shhhh, while the Irish Car Bomb it is targeted at a group of dough-minded kids under controlled media exposure who think it sounds like a cool name.
So consider it at least, and if you haven’t had one before try a Manhattan and see how you like it. I’ve never made a Twin Towers Slammer as I prefer to socialise with people who have good tastes and a basic knowledge of history but maybe some day I will have the misfortune of drinking with someone ignorant enough to need a visual explanation.
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